A musing on self love.

Feb 14, 2021 | Blog

Amusing for the muse.


Self love is an art, and like all art it is not learned by just reading about it. It is learned every day, through action. Integration.

Sometimes I feel as though I am the darkness, trying to romance the light.

Hmm. That sweet glow that hypnotises me.. blessing me with sight. When you are darkness, all you see is the light. Where else is there to turn your awareness? I cannot perceive myself.. no. Without the light.. I am just blindness. I long to know it’s powerful origins. It burns. I cannot hold it for long.. yet when I look away.. I am tormented. Haunted by flashing orbs of light on the back of my eyelids. I know it is futile, yet where else can I set my gaze? My luminous lover, just out of sight, beyond the halos.

This chase.. this heartache, is the beautiful dilemma of darkness.

Yet I know.. by switching my perception.. that the opposite is true.

I am also the bright light, trying to woo the darkness.

Ever in love with the mystery. Trying to attain one embrace. Searching deep into the abyss.. trying to see into what cannot be seen. I shine myself on it, edging closer, but it evades me always. Just out of reach. I get a hint of the darkness at the edges of my own aura. It seems as if it is just black space out there, but I have to know. What else is the point of this dance? The white light seeking the night.

Am I even light? What if I’m just negative space, trying to hold dark matter? If I am negative space, I have no mass with which to hold more mass. It sounds so lonely. Yet I know the darkness is here with me. I wouldn’t be here otherwise. Not without my counterpart.

The opposing force.. the contrast, allows the whole to be perceived.. witnessed.

One cannot exist without the other. One is the other.

This is the principle of yin and yang as it sits with me now. What a love story..

So here on February 14th, when all of the others that are me, are screaming their tales of love into the digital world.. I offer my musing. My love for the paradox of it all. For the ability to experience life and be experienced by life. For my witnessing of myself as the opposites.. chasing, holding and romancing myself. Hmm.. Love.. I am.

I am love.

-The Tattooed Fae

Photo credit: Jess Gore Photography
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